Sitting in my car yesterday afternoon waiting for Ant to come out of school I was talking with a good friend I made here in Jerz. She has a 10 year old, after her explaining her son's responsibilities I was shocked and disappointed to actually realize how bad I have been for Anthony. I couldn't help but to think about why my faults have been made. First, I have 1 child. I guess I have nothing else to do..Instead of sitting on facebook, reading, watching my shows, when Ant would ask for help it was easy not to neglect him. I thought I was being selfish if I refused his help. How can I ignore his cry for help and sit and read. The things he was asking for like, help me clean up my mess, or tie my shoes, should have been told no. And I should have proceeded in my business. And other thing that came to mind was pity. I guess I felt bad for him. With his issues like coming from a divorce family or his seizure disorder it was like I was making up for them...Little did I know..I was making his life a little harder.
When he came out of school yesterday..after him being hysterical in the morning, as usual he was happy..even joining an after school club, "Team Spirit" I saw that he was not sad...and I sat and worried all day for nothing.
Last night before bed Ant was mad that I did not stay with him. I asked Nick if what I was doing was mean. Nick replied and said asking myself that question day after day is what bought me here in the first place. I had to agree, but still not confidence in my decision. Thank god for Nick.
It was amazing, this morning he woke up and went straight to the kitchen for his breakfast. All ready it was a great routine. I have received an email about his cub scouts. They were having a derby race and invited us to join. He gave us such a hard time. You would think a little boy would want to go. But Ant just whined and complained. Calling it stupid. Nick had to turn the t.v. off and set him straight. I kicked in mom mode and told him he will go, and if any attitude is shown his t.v. will be turned off. Now, if I can only stick with my punishment. Why would he not want to go???? Anything new is always a problem for him. Once he gets there, he will love it and be happy we went. But his first reaction is always "NO!". So we will see how this goes...
My main concern is him leaving for school. Can he please just not be teary eyed! It is so annoying! Today he gave me a hard time tying his shoes. No whining!!!!! "I can't do it". Little to say he did. I had to fix them with him. But it is a start. On the way out the door, he of course had to be teary eyed. Nick just smiled at him and said, "let's go Ant". I shut the door. Ugh!!!! The phone call after Nick dropped him off was of course..."He was fine. Not a tear since you shut the door. Went half way to the door of the school, turned around and said..Bye Nick". Now if only I can get him to do that..
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I don't have kids yet, so i can't sympathize, but I am a social worker with some training. Sounds like you care a lot about your son, and you are trying hard to do what's best for him. One suggestion: when he refused to go places, like Boy Scouts, ask him why. Maybe he is afraid other kids won't like him. Or maybe he know a boy in the group who he doesn't like. There is probably some reason. And it's it's something like fear, you can encouraging him and reassure him. Just keep talking about everything. Good luck!
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